Wednesday, January 18, 2012

A Mighty Hunter

I am one. A mighty hunter, that is. I am quite lethal.

I hunt Big Game mostly. Especially now that the Minion passed the 12 lb mark. He is my most constant prey, and he is very big, especially since I am only a little over 8 lbs. He fears me though. No, really! He does! I am little, but I am ferocious. You don't mess with Minerva the Terrible.

I particularly like to hunt Anne Elisabeth. We have a great Big Game that we play pretty often, and it gives me an opportunity to vent all my frustration at her wretchedness. She looks at me (this is usually in the evenings when Rohan is around to be entertained by my brutal ferocity) and her eyes get big, and she says, "I'm going to get your tail!"

Then she reaches out and (would you believe it?) she grabs my glorious tail.


That's when I chase her. She runs around from the kitchen to the living room, yelping in terror as I pursue. At the very last, she leaps up onto the hearth stones and stands there trembling. I leap after her, catch her by the ankles and kill her.

Okay, well, I don't really kill her. Not that I couldn't, mind you! I am quite the bloodthirsty brute, you understand.


But, you know, if I actually did kill her, the Big Game would be over. So I let her live. For now at least.

And I will not let her get my tail!

The other day, we were all very excited because we had something really terrifying to hunt. Something monstrous. Behold!

Isn't it freaky?

I do enjoy a good Bug Battle. Marmaduke found it first and tried to eat it, of course, because that's his solution to everything (boys!). But the bug foiled his efforts by having much too strong an outer shell, and he was forced to drop it and let the rest of us have a go at it.

Marmaduke and the Minion were a little freaked out by it after Marmaduke failed to chew it. So I stepped in and saved the day! See?

I flipped it on its back!

It sat there flailing its legs for a nice long time, and Anne Elisabeth sat on the counter and went, "Eeeew! Eeeew! Eeeew!" She doesn't have the spirit of the Mighty Hunter, you see. Not like I have. No one has a hunter spirit like mine!

Rohan told me what  a good kitty I was, because he's darling like that. I blinked at him, and I really meant it.

Then Anne Elisabeth had to get all wretched and say, "Rohan, please, can you take it outside?"

She's so bossy!

But, Rohan did what she asked because he is still blind to her manipulative machinations. One day, I will reveal the truth to him, and then Rooglewood will finally succumb to my ultimate dominion!

In the meantime, whenever she tries to get my tail, I'll just have to chase her down and kill her (but, you know, not really).

Are you not amazed at my hunting skills?

1 comment:

  1. I am amazed at your hunting skills! You inspire me to sharpen mine. Purrs!