Wednesday, October 26, 2011

This Morning

Sometimes, I think Anne Elisabeth just doesn't care about me.

My heart is completely broken. Rohan went to work this morning! Yes, he does it every morning, leaving me behind for hours on end with only the household staff for company. Anne Elisabeth tells me it's necessary, that he's "providing for the family" or some such nonsense, paying for my Iams and mousies, blah, blah, blah.

I know the truth. Anne  Elisabeth is jealous of the great bond I share with Rohan. So she drives him from the house all day, and expects me to just sit back and take it.

Who does she think she's dealing with?

In the wake of Rohan departure, I was so desolate, I felt I must do something to distract myself. Music is soothing to the soul, I am told, so I trotted up and down the hall running my scales. "Mo, May, Me, Ma, Mo, Ma, MEEEEEEEEEE!" Practice makes perfect (and I always strive for perfection), so I ran them over, and over, and over, and over, and over, and over, and over, and over--

"MINERVA LOUISE! Must you be so loud?"

Yes, thank you. I must.

Wretched Anne Elisabeth.

My voice gave out eventually, and Anne Elisabeth was still stolidly ignoring me, drinking her morning drudge (trust me, it's smells nasty!) and cuddling with Marmaduke. Yes, Marmaduke. Who is not heartbroken, thank you very much, and does not need consoling. He's nothing short of clingy!

See? Clingy.

While my heart is torn absolutely in two. Could I use a bit of petting and hugs myself? Of course! But I'm not going to go hopping into laps and debasing myself like he does. After all, a ruling despot must maintain some standards.
So I hopped up on the counter instead.
Technically speaking, the counter is not my official domain. Everything from the doorknobs down and most chair tops are mine. But the counter is no-man's land, and Anne Elisabeth gets quite wretched if she catches me on them. She was busy cuddling that Clinging Vine she's so fond of and drinking her drudge, however, so she didn't even notice what I was doing!
So I started knocking things off. One. By. One.
Bat, bat, bat.
Bat, bat, bat.
All right, nothing I was knocking was eliciting the desired result. Let's find something that clatters. Hmmmm . . . dishes are good!
Bat, bat, bat.
"MINERVA LOUISE! Why must you be so wicked?"
"Well, as I told you, Anne Elisabeth, my heart is broken because Rohan has gone to work, and you should be making some effort to console me, and since you aren't--Oh, I say! Excuse me! Do you mind?"
She shut me out in the sunroom.
She says I can't cause as much destruction out here. This is true, alas. The most I can do is sleep in the pots where plants used to be.

But I already squashed the plants months ago. I suppose I could dig up some of the dirt, but I do so hate to get my paws dirty.
Wretched Anne Elisabeth.
I think I'll sit in the doorway and stare at her while she works. That'll make her sorry.

Maybe I'll get the Minion to help me.

"Don't get too cute, Minion. You want to make her sorry for her wretchedness, not enthralled by your cuteness."
It's hard to get good help these days.


  1. Hahahaha! Thanks for making my heart smile first thing in the morning! I'm loving Minerva's alliteration ("cuddling that Clinging Vine she's so fond of and drinking her drudge"). She should write for the masses, er... minions! ~ Janine

  2. Oh, wow! Minerva, you're so funny! :) I also feel terrible to be laughing because I know you are really hurting. Shame on me! :(

    And you are adorable curled up in the plant pot.

  3. I am remarkably droll, aren't I?

    But no, you shouldn't laugh at my pain. Heartbreak is a serious business!

  4. Minerva Louise, I think you should meet my sister's cat, Muffin Man. I think you and he have quite a lot in common... I have no doubts he would make good help - although I'm not sure how well you two would get along in the long run. ;) You have quite the complex plots up your sleeve...uh, paw?...don't you?

    Thanks for the reminders of kitties and home. :) I miss my cat so much!! (Mr. Murphy is the clingy type, so don't look to him for any help in your plans!)