Monday, March 19, 2012

Lobster and Love

I feel I should fill you in on various randomness around Rooglewood now while I still have the chance. What with Mama-kitty due to pop at any time, I wonder how much blogging opportunity I shall have? So let me take this opportunity to remind you once more of the difficult circumstances under which I live and try to maintain a decent despotism.

First of all, there is that Thing to be considered. Somehow (and I do not pretend to know just how), she seems to have wormed her way into the affections of the various humans in this household. The various humans and . . . well, I shan't tell you of that until the end . . .
Rohan--my own, darling, but strangely bemused with dogginess, Rohan--came home the other day with, of all things, a gift for that Thing. And I'm telling you, dear readers, it was the oddest gift.

See her there, carrying it about with her? Can you tell what it is? Well, I certainly couldn't, not for the first fifteen minutes! The creature was so excited, she kept trotting in circles all around the house, and it wasn't until she settled down that any of us got a good look at the thing. And then we saw . . . a lobster?

"I wuv my wobster!"

That's right. A lobster. An enormous, red, stuffed lobster. And this was the cause of all that trot-about-the-house-in-utter-ecstasy excitement?

I couldn't believe my eyes. So I sent the Minion to investigate.

Minion: "What'cha got there, Milly?"
Thing: "Grrrrrrrr."

My tail and whiskers! I had never heard that Thing use such atrocious language! But there she sat, flopped on a towel, her lobster at her side, grrrrrrrring at my Minion!

He didn't seem to care.

Minion: "Can I have a sniff? Pwease?"
Thing: "Grrrrrrrrr."

My Minion can be very persistent when need arises. He kept after her, sniffing and pawing at her lobster until finally, the Thing had enough.

Minion: "Wait! Wait! Don't get up, I just wanna sniff!"
Thing: "Grrrrrrrr and bye!"

Since then, she has torn the eyes out of her favorite toy. I guess that's doggy for love? Strange, strange creature.

Speaking of love . . . now that Spring has come to Rooglewood, we are having to deal with the effects of it. Twitterpation is rampant. Marmaduke, as always, falls in love with everything that moves (and quite a few things that don't), so that's no change. Molly keeps pining after her owner, Tom, who is military and has not been able to have her for the last four years (thus she lives under my gentle dictatorship), and keeps insisting, "He's going to come for me soon! Soon!"

Whatever, Molly.

And of course, my Rohan is as utterly devoted to me as a human being can possibly be (despite Anne Elisabeth's wretched attempts to distract his attention).

But the oddest romance of all has been emerging. And I have to say, I'm more than a little concerned as it involves my very own Minion!


That's right, dear furry readers. The Minion has gone and fallen in love with that Thing! And I have to say, as ruling despot of this household, I'm not entirely certain how to respond. I mean, I consider myself as open-minded as the next kitty, but . . . inter-species romances seem fraught with potential turmoil!

Besides, judging from that face, I'm uncertain what the Thing's feelings for my Minion are in return. I mean, is he setting himself up for heartbreak?

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